For years people have always said there is this poigant yet mysterious intrigue about me that has truthfully left many believing everything about me is a lie. When the truth is — I have no reason to lie about my life I just escaped the life that I never wanted anyone to know about. Therefore I had never really spoken about it. The fact of the matter is is that I come from both an emotionally tumultous and emotionally abusive background that nobody should ever have to experience.
First and foremost, I’d like to say this. I have three Moms’ (my adopted Mom; my birth Mom, and my God Mom) but only one of them is actively in my life because I openly exiled the other two. Due to reasons that I never imagined I would have to experience — the first two are so far unwelcome in my life I wouldn’t know what to say or do had they approached me today after all these years.
My biological mother has emotionally abused me for many years. Lies; deceit, manipulation, nothing she has ever told me was ever true. Since the day she met me she has intentionally misled me; threatened me, had her boyfriend sent me hateful e-mails because I won’t acknowledge her, write hateful things about me on the internet that are so far untrue it’s crazy I even had to read them.
As a kid, I didn’t know my biological mother Julie. I didn’t actually meet her until I was about 11-12 in the parking lot of a Target. But I had heard plenty about her; her doings, her troublesome antics, and her many lies that had gone on to ruin her life the older she got. Meeting her for the first time and the many years of problems with her that would follow would prove no different. At the age of 17, she blackmailed me into going with her and i ended up a missing persons’ for about 2-3 months in 2012. I would never be close to my adopted family again after this even after many years of abuse at the hands of my mother.
My mother despite what she has published on the internet is not the saint that she claims to be, nor, is she a good person. I exiled her because I could not keep up with tie victim mentality that she was always in the right and no matter what even though it stared you in the face (“she could do no wrong”). That is a woman that could tell the world the sky is purple when it is blue — and will argue with you for 30 minutes trying to prove you otherwise.
My adopted mother, Amy, is no different. I exiled Amy after I escaped my abduction when I was 17. While my older brother went home that year after I was able to help him escape — due to the years of emotional abuse and homophobic/anti-black remarks I chose not to go home.
My adopted mother has pushed me to attempt suicide at least 3 times; cut me out of her life, spent the first half of my life homophobic as hell with a hint of anti-black jokes, and ultimately led to the discovery that she had known the entire time whom my father actually is. I was the black pawn in her white family and because I am a grown person who wanted to see everybody not just her when I did last see her — I was ultimately told I was no longer welcome in her home and I have not seen or heard from her since. That was almost 2 or so years ago.
My god mother whom is now Mommy — is my favorite person in the whole world. She has helped me overcome many of the struggles that I have faced growing up and even now without much of a family. I couldn’t ask for a better Mom — I finally got one.
This series is part of an upcoming journal series for this newspaper. #Dispelled chronicles the many fictitious lies that have been told about me over the course of several years whether by family or friends. At almost 25, I am now standing up for myself and tackling many of them head on.
Amy & Julie will never tell the truth about the real reasons we haven’t spoken in years*