This is an editorial by SHK in response to people showing their compelling bravery to share their stories of sexual assault and harassment by men in positions of power whether in Hollywood or not so in Hollywood. In SHK ‘s case, it was not in Hollywood. But the man knew he was in Hollywood as a budding and promising Hollywood columnist.
I believe I was about 15 at the time. I lived with my aunt and her boyfriend in the suburbs of a (city that I won’t publicly name). Everybody around me knew that I held deep aspirations to become a writer; a columnist, a person with a budding voice. I was already on the rise, except, at the time I lacked the general funding to appropriately fund the business the way I wanted to.
That was where I would meet a man named B.K. B.K was a man in his 30’s at the time. Established as a government diplomat of sorts as he worked in finance for the state. He met me online, of course, after sending me e-mails stating that he could not only offer assistant services (I needed a homework assistant at that time, a tutor at that, because my aunt refused to help me) and offer advice on funding for business.
What I would get was so much more. As someone who has been in blogging; journalism, and the like since 2002 I have seen just about everything. He in fact was a finance guy for the government, in fact, made important decisions on how to fund small businesses and the like. But, I, would learn that he had other intentions as he met “the promising new guy in small business”. A feat that would become the first thing he would mention upon coming to my house.
Now, I do partially blame myself. Even at 15, I was pretty much on my own. My aunt (which was my guardian at the time) was never home; present, or involved in anything I did. But what I didn’t understand is what made him think that just because I was a budding writer in search of potential business funding, that, “I would enjoy his genitalia and that’s how this works. I’m a man who can make things happen”.
I was frightened, and, found an excuse to leave my bedroom and go to the bathroom. Assuming he had expected me to come out in my pajamas, I, had came out fully dressed and armed with a warning. He was to leave my house, and, any hopes of my choosing of him for small business funding are lost. That I was a “better person” than to be subjected to something I wanted in my life to better my life only because he thought I was “particularly innocent looking” and thought he could get away with what he was trying to do. Being forced onto the bed (although I managed to squirm away) and having my hands forcibly placed on his genitals are only some of the most alarming things that have happened to me since I first started to write so many years ago.
I’ll never forget that moment, because, that’s the reason I have never opened the door to outside funding of any kind for my business at least not authorised by me or coming from me. I have severe trust issues with men (for various reasons) including this one, because of what was said to me. It damaged the credibility that I used to see in men who sat in positions like that, that, could provide me the funding that I so desperately wanted to get because I had no backing or influence from those around me.
I am choosing to share this story as a young gay male in “Hollywood” of sorts and as someone who was once coming into what would be Hollywood because I know there are other young boys out there who have gone through this. Being subjected to their bodies and their “innocence” to suffice to what is generally an older man for perverted gain.
Do you have a story of being a sexual assault survivor you’d like to share? Submit your guest posts (and any photos) to firstname.lastname@example.org.