This is a preview of SHK ‘s upcming memoir Trainwreck: Un-Edited to be released 18 July 2017 to bookstores in North America.
We are legally required to warn readers of what they’re about to read. Viewer discretion advised.
At home, I, felt out of place. My blackness (or in this case my “colored-ness” felt out of place (or lack thereof cultural acknowledgment I should say) made things extremely awkward at times. I was never allowed to witness “black things”; things people of color would do, wear my hair a certain way.
It was forbidden. By all means, I, was raised as a white boy; to live like a white boy, to talk like a white boy, and essentially become one. But it wasn’t until I would enter the 4th grade that I had discovered a mental epiphany: I was a colored person and had never realized it before.
I remember returning home that same day, to, pretty much sit in my room the entire day. I was confused; lost, and struggling with the idea that I wasn’t like my family.
Like my brother perhaps the only brother I would ever come to actually know. It made me feel weird, almost, like an outcast of sorts that didn’t belong. The divide over my skin color would eventually become so deeply strong, that, I would less than a year later attempt to end my life.