My father raped me, now, I’m pregnant with his child

This is an editorial for The Daily News penned by [Sarah, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy].    The views and information reflected in this editorial are solely those of the author, and, do not immediately refeclt those of The Daily News. 

I’m not but 22, something, that still shocks me each day that I realize that I’m pregnant. But not just pregnant, pregnant, with my father’s child.   It happened earlier this year, over Valentine’s Day, while my mother was away.

But it wasn’t what you think it was.  My father has always had an interest in young women,  specifically, me.    I remember  coming home to visit my mother  from college, to, discover that she had not yet gotten home from work.  Not that it was a bad thing, it, just gave me more of an opportunity to surprise her that I was home for the weekend.

What a weekend it would turn out to be.  See, I’m a 22 year old African American female.  Fair-skinned; body, and “natural hair” (pay attention to that part right there,  that plays a big part in why my father had always made weird comments about me..).

When I got to my mother’s house, it, was as usual. Nobody was home, my mother, usually came in the back-door when she got home. At that rate, I figured it was just me, so it was time to hang out until she got home.

My mother and father divorced three years ago, and, had been living apart. But would still often visit each other for the sake of my younger siblings. 

About an hour after I settled in, the back door opened, but it wasn’t my mother. It was my fairly inconspicuous father popping in without notice. He  scuffled through the kitchen, unannounced to me,  noticeably drunk.

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I could smell the stench of  alcohol from the living room. I knew this wasn’t going to be good.

Quickly, I decided that it was probably best to not stay in the living room and attempted to make way for my old room upstairs to watch television. Unfortunately for me, my drunk father, wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Who let you in?” he said. “Your mother didn’t tell me you  were coming home to visit”  said again louder this time.

“It’s a surprise Dad.  She doesn’t know” I said.

Continuing to drink his alcohol, he, continued to approach me on the stairwell, eventually grabbing me by the arm and  forcing me back to the living room.

“You know you’re just as pretty if not prettier than your mother right?” he said.

I knew he was having an episode again.    He was so much stronger than me, and I couldn’t manage to get out of his grasp.   Before I knew it, the unthinkable had happened.

He slid his  between my leggings. One hand between my legs, the other  grabbing my breast.   “I”ve wanted to do that for a long time” he said creepishly scary close to my face.    He knew what he was doing.

“All these years prancing around our house with this natural hair; feminine body,  and tight tops. You were asking for the attention and now you’ve got it. Your mother’s not home, so now you’re going to show me “Daddy’s-Girl”.  he  said as his voice got raspy.  I could clearly see his dick was hard.

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Still struggling to get out of his grasp, I, knew I was about to be sexually assaulted.  Sexually assaulted by my father, who, would later tell me that it was “my fault because I developed early, and, when a woman develops its her duty to service a man”.

At the time of my assault, I had not yet had sex (whether vaginally, or anal).  It was probably the most horrifying experience I’ve ever encountered.  My 45 year old father, drunk,  forcing his penis inside of me in both (“areas”).

I cried; I begged him to stop, but he didn’t.  Cold; horrified, it wasn’t over until he ejaculated in me.   A moment in my life that would change my life forever.    Less than three weeks after the assault, I knew I was pregnant.  A test turned up positive; my mother had no idea what happened, and my college career was now in jeopardy.

I decided that in April I would tell my mother.  And boy, did I tell her.  I waited until my father returned from his business trip to New York City, a bi-annual business trip he takes twice a year.  I told her over dinner.  What happened next was just short of a movie-script worthy.

Wine glasses flying;  forks almost used as weapons, and even a table or two flipped over. My 5″6 mother went on a full-blown rampage.

The night ended in my father being arrested on felony rape charges.  He is now serving a life sentence  at  California State Prison in Los Angeles.  He was  placed on  a fast-track conviction last week after security cameras my mother had installed in the house caught the rape on tape, the horrifying moment, my mother watched my father on tape rape his own daughter.

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Earlier this week, a California judge convicted him on felony rape charges;   and two counts of felony assault.   He will serve his life sentence at California state with no chance of parole.

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